idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize