We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
COCAINE IS GR8
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
