on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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