so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
