Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize