So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
