remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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