Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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