so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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