Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
