do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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