the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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