People in love make me want to vomit
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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