I must be too annoying 4 u.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
