On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
he puts the penis in happiness.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Randomize
