So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
