...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
