all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have fence marks all over my body
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
