I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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