I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
