Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
