It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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