It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
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