Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize