my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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