Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Randomize
