I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
