Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
