I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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