We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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