why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
