Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
