Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
