Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
