i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My life is pants optional.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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