ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
