At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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