so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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