just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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