omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
