We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
