i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
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