i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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