so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
