all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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