Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Need sex. Gaining weight.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
