no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
