It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
