Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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