singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
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