the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
