it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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