need another drink. this is the easiest way
barbara walters just said penis...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
