Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
