Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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