belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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