just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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