Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Can I color on your dick again?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
